Contact Me!

A little about myself...

What should we know about you?

I am a 42 year old man from Jackson, Tennessee of Irish, German, and Cherokee descent.

The Irish is the most dominant, the German second most dominant, and the Cherokee the least dominant of the three.

I do not know the percentage of Irish and German, although I do know the percentage of Cherokee to be 6.25% (1/16), as my late maternal grandfather was 25% (1/4).  His late maternal grandmother was pure Cherokee.

What matters most to you?

#1.  Family.  Especially my mother, grandmother, and aunt.  They mean the world to me.  Especially my mother and grandmother.  They have done so much to help me out.  I do not know what I would do without them.

#2.  Friends.  Especially Carolyn and Brant.

#3.  Trying to restore my relationship with my younger brother, sister-in-law, ex-sister-in-law, and first cousin.  We are currently at odds with one another.  I still care about them, although I am not sure they care about me.

#4.  Pursuing my purpose and achieving my goals and attempting to help people.

#5.  Replacing my 20 or so pharmaceuticals (no exaggeration / embellishment) as many as possible with natural remedies such as full-spectrum CBD oil (with CBG, CBN, and THC, it's a cannabis / marijuana product), massage therapy, acupuncture, turmeric (enhanced with ginger and black pepper), and oil of peppermint so I will feel better NATURALLY

What are your political views?

What are your challenges? And How do you deal with them?

I am a survivor of six suicide attempts; and I have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder among mental illnesses and fibromalgia, chronic migraine headaches, and obstructive sleep apnea among physical illnesses, and I also at one time had 40 food allergies although I have conquered / outgrew most of them.

One day at a time.  With medicines and natural remedies where I can, counseling, my support system (which largely includes family and friends), and coping skills.

Do you consider yourself high, medium, or low functioning?

Not to sound arrogant, but somewhat high functioning, especially considering everything that is wrong with me and all the shit I have to deal with as far as stress and anxiety is concerned.  Admittedly I could be higher functioning though if I had a life coach and could find my purpose and a pathway to meet my goals though.

There is no such thing as normal other than a setting on a dryer (the term is "neurotypical" for those closest to what you're thinking "normal", but everyone has their little quirks), but compared to those suffering with Down's Syndrome and other severely debilitating mental challenges, I would probably consider myself 80% - 85% neurotypical, and possibly could be 90% - 95% neurotypical if I had a good life coach to help me achieve what I would like to achieve.

However I am only this high functioning though due to my medications and full-spectrum CBD, the grace of God, and my support system, especially my mother, grandmother, aunt, Carolyn, and Brant.  I indubitably probably would slip down to 70% or 75% AT BEST if not MUCH lower without them!  I have to give them credit!  The medications and CBD keep me balanced.  Were it not for God (and my mother and grandmother) I would not even be ALIVE.  And my mother, grandmother, aunt, Carolyn, and Brant keep me on track.

What makes people say you're lower-functioning / less neurotypical than you actually are?

Most common "reason"?  That I don't have children actually.  That is the #1 reason I get oddly enough.  Both my younger brother and first cousin (who each have two children) have stated that, as have many members of my family.

Second most common?  That I am not employed.

Only the third most common is my actual illnesses!

My objection to these?

#1.  I don't WANT children.  Never have.  First, I feel it is irresponsible for me to have children with all my health problems I may pass down.  Second, I am bisexual, I haven't decided if I want to marry a woman or a man, or even settle down and get married.  Third, my mother doesn't want any more grandchildren than the two she already has through my younger brother, she actually didn't originally want to even be a grandmother, she just kinda was "surprised" to become one, lol

#2.  I am disabled, and what employment opportunities I have found that have been suitable have been few.  When I did own my own businesses, only the first one was somewhat successful / profitable, every one since has failed, and I don't know if it was me or the business or the market I was working in.  The jobs I worked were not suitable for me, as I will explain later, and the employment agency was unreasonable, as I will also explain later.

#3.  I can't help who I am, I can only work to improve myself.

What are your goals?

1.  To help 10,000 people.  Preferably though my website if I can, if people contact me asking for help.  To be an inspiration to them.  And maybe to entertain them on the side, as I believe a little humor is good medicine as well.  That's a little more than my mother's and grandmother's hometown (Lexington, Tennessee, which has a population of 7,092) I feel I was put on this earth to help people through my experiences.  I just do not know how.  I feel that is my purpose.  That is why I was put on this earth.  Why God, through my grandmother, saved me from my fourth suicide attempt, and through my mother saved me from my GI bleed.  To not do so would be mocking Him.

2.  To build a monument to my late sister at the site where she took her life if I get permission from my younger brother.  I may have to buy three acres of land from him and dedicate it as a state historic site or something, I don't know.

3.  To send my mother, my younger brother, my sister-in-law, my ex-sister-in-law, and both of my nephews on a week-long vacation at my expense for my mother's 72nd and my older nephew's 13th birthday.  Either to Orlando, Florida or Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  If my mother is well enough from her illness by then.  They are my mother's ONLY grandchildren, as neither my late sister nor I have / had children.  I feel my mother should bond with her grandchildren.

When were you diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder?

In 1994, by my absolute favorite psychiatrist of all time, the late great Dr. Carol Hersh.

Faces of Autism Spectrum Disorder include:  Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, President Thomas Jefferson, Wolfgang Mozart, Bill Gates, and Elon Musk.

When were you diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

2021, although I suffered from symptoms of it (including night terrors and flashbacks) for almost 20 years before then.

What events started and / or aggravated your Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

First, a police brutality incident in Mississippi.  I was following my late father and my late sister from McComb to Jackson to dine and shop.  I got stopped for "trafficking heroin and cocaine from New Orleans to Memphis" (I wasn't) because my car had tinted windows.  They tossed me to the ground like a rag doll.  They illegally searched my car.  All they could find was an open bottle of rum...in the trunk...in a suitcase...under four neatly folded shirts.  All they could charge me with was speeding 75 in a 70.  The judge threw it out in court.

Second, my late sister's suicide.  She took her life April 3, 2011.  

Saturday, April 2, 2011, my late sister said to me, “Daniel, please do not leave for Chattanooga today, I am not sure I can survive the weekend if you do.”

I departed Lexington for Chattanooga. Worst decision I ever made.  By far. 

The next day, I talked to my mother and my late sister. Normal day, so I thought. I was wrong. So very wrong. I did not know then this would be the worst day in my entire life.  Or was the next day worse?  I can't decide which, they were both tough contenders.

That night, my mother called me on her way to Chattanooga. She couldn’t find my late sister. She told her she had “gone to a friend’s house to study geography”.

I suggested she have my maternal grandparents and late aunt go to her property bordering Natchez Trace State Park to search for her there to see if she might be there. She told me no, it was too late. An hour later, she changed her mind. They went there, could not find anything.

The next day my mother, frantic about not finding my late sister, left back for West Tennessee. It dawned on me on my way back…

Maybe my late sister’s ex-girlfriend Mikaeah would know where she is.

They had broken up because my mother and younger brother did not approve of their relationship and / or of her being a lesbian (her ex-girlfriend actually broke up with my late sister to spare her relationship with my mother and younger brother), although they remained best of friends ever since.

So I stopped at the Starbuck’s in Manchester and looked her ex-girlfriend Mikaeah, who was my friend on Facebook, and called her.

She informed me that she had not heard from her since 6 pm the prior night. I informed her that was the last time anyone had heard from her, and she informed me she went to my mother’s property to “walk around and clear her mind.”

I quickly called my mother and told her the news.

Apparently my aunt and sheriff’s deputies had searched there, but my mother and a new search party began searching there again.

By the time I reached Dickson, I received new news from my mother. The worst possible news.

She’s dead.”

Apparently the last person my late sister spoke to before she took her life was not my mother. Nor my late father. Nor either of my maternal grandparents. (My late paternal grandmother was still alive then, although she had Alzheimer’s so bad then she didn’t recognize anyone except for my aunt.) Nor my younger brother (her twin!). Nor myself.

It was her ex-girlfriend Mikaeah. The woman she loved. The one true love of her life.

I was bawling. I could not contain myself. I was a basket case. I was driving 85 – 90 mph on I-40 in pouring rain where I could not see more than one or two car lengths in front of me between the rain and the tears pouring from my eyes.

It didn’t faze me in the slightest. Not after the news of my late sister’s death. I didn’t care if I did die on the Interstate that day.  In fact, I would have welcomed it. I know God sent a guardian angel to guide me that day.

When I got to Lexington, my mother, my grandparents, my late aunt, and my uncle met me at the hospital. My mother was reading out of her journal. My late sister had her “funeral arrangements”. Or what she considered her funeral arrangements. Actually memorial service arrangements since she wanted to be cremated. She did not want roses. She wanted white Easter lilies (her favorite flowers) instead. And she wanted “My Immortal” by Evanescence to be played.

My late aunt called my late sister’s ex-girlfriend Mikaeah banning her from the memorial service. Her fiancée Melanie called my late aunt back threatening her.

The journals were indubitably disturbing. They included entries about how she did not know how the family would take it if they knew she liked girls. By far the most disturbing page, though, was a page written in blood (or ink that looked like blood) in large font that read four words in all caps:

I WANT TO DIE

So far, only my mother (other than my late sister) has read all her journals. My younger brother and I have read some of them, but not all. My mother felt nobody except her should read them all they were so dark. My aunt has requested access to them although my all-time favorite psychiatrist (who retired to spend more time with her grandson) simply said “no”.

Luckily, my late sister did not have any children. The only “orphans” she left behind were two calico cats. One still resides with my mother.  The other was euthanized two years ago in November of 2021.

Hundreds of family members and friends showed up between the two memorial services. She was absolutely well-loved. My maternal grandparents’ house that morning for example?  Packed to the gills. Standing room only. Mostly people who had driven there from Chattanooga that morning. At least 50 or 60 people, if not as many as 75 or 80, in that relatively small house.

Her Facebook page was pouring with condolences as well too. Probably 200+ if not 300+ comments! All stating how amazing she was and how much they would miss her!

The first memorial service was hosted by my mother, late aunt, and maternal grandparents in Lexington. My mother and late aunt selected the music. “My Immortal” was not played there.

The second one was hosted by my younger brother, my first cousin, and myself in Chattanooga. “My Immortal” was played there, sang by two of her friends, one of which she carried around on her back at a religious retreat we all used to attend.  My late sister called her "Cargo".

The guests of honor at the second memorial service were my late sister’s ex-girlfriend Mikaeah (my first cousin and I specifically invited her despite her being banned from the Lexington memorial service), her psychology professor Dr. Williams-Morris, and one of her best friends from Dallas, Texas named Kimberley. Dr. Williams-Morris even attended barefoot! She considered my late sister her “Barefoot Contessa”, as she would attend all her classes barefoot, and could think of no better tribute.

The site where my late sister took her life at my mother’s 35-acre property bordering Natchez Trace stands unmarked, the exact spot unbeknownst to anyone alive the family still has contact with (my late maternal grandfather knew the exact spot, although he died five years ago). I know approximately the right spot, probably within 50 feet, although not the exact spot.  Where her monument is located is actually at the family cemetery in Bath Springs, Tennessee, approximately 30 miles from where she committed suicide, although that is where she is honored. My mother’s 35-acre property used to be one of her favorite places on the planet, an area she found serenity, tranquility, and peace; although not anymore.  Instead, it brings the opposite, it traumatizes and haunts her now.  She visits there once a year, dreading said trip when she does.  Such a contrast to years before.

I still blame myself for her suicide.  What if I had not left for Chattanooga?  Would she had survived the weekend?

When were you diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder?

2016, at Lakeside Behavioral Hospital by I think Dr. Zhiaquing Sun, shortly after my 4th and by far my worst suicide attempt (which was on July 1, 2016.

Faces of Bipolar Disorder include:  Robin Williams, Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia of Star Wars), and Kurt Cobain (frontman of Nirvana).  Unfortunately, none of the three made it to 65, and two of them took their life.  :(

When were you diagnosed with Panic Disorder?

2013, by my second favorite psychiatrist of all time, Dr. Douglas Emch.

When were you diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

In 1986, at Vanderbilt Hospital.

When were you diagnosed with fibromyalgia?

2019, by my PCP at the time

When were you diagnosed with chronic migraine headaches?

2013, immediately following a GI bleed caused by Excedrin Migraine which I used for treating them for five years

How did you discover your obstructive sleep apnea?

It was after a lightsaber battle with Obi-Wan Kenobi on Mustafar I was forced to wear this mask!

Joking.

When my late sister used to visit me in metropolitan Orlando, she loathed making the trip between metropolitan Chattanooga and there or back in one day, she preferred to make it in two, so we usually stopped in Tifton on the way.

I usually fell asleep before she did.

She claimed I went 90 seconds without breathing once.

She notified my mother and grandmother, and they observed me going 30 seconds.

I took a sleep study, and they observed 146 apnea episodes.

Basically, almost 150 times a night I go an average of a minute without breathing, so 2 1/2 hours of not breathing at all a night!

That's why I wear my CPAP machine.

My mother's and my grandmother's cats have thought I am Darth Vader ever since.

You stated you had 40 food allergies at one time.

Yes, I was diagnosed in 1987 with them by the late great allergy specialist Dr. William G. Crook.

He determined my worst food allergy to be wheat.

You mentioned you survived six suicide attempts.

Yes, and the fourth one was my worst.  Were it not for it, I indubitably would not be here today.  My maternal grandmother saved my life.  I had overdosed on a cocktail of four pharmaceuticals and washed it down with a liter of rum.  When she found me an hour and a half later, I was fully unconcious and barely breathing.  I felt I had shamed my entire family except my grandmother and the best way if not the only way I could reimburse them for what I had done was to take my life.

Statistically, I should not be alive.  At all.  Not just because of my grandmother saving my life.  Because I statistically have a ZERO percent chance of NOT taking my life!  The national average for suicide is 14 in 100,000.  The percentage for LGBTQ people (I am bisexual) is eight times higher than straight people.  The percentage for people with severe forms of depression (bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder) is 30 times higher than people who are not depressed.  The percentage for people who suffer from PTSD is 100 TIMES HIGHER than people who do not suffer from PTSD!  Multiply 14 X 8 X 30 X 100 and the result is 336,000!  Out of 100,000?  That's easily 100%!  The fact I consider myself CURED from suicidal intent is nothing short of miraculous.

I am sure you're on some pretty powerful medicine for that PTSD and Panic Disorder! Are you able to drive?

Indeed, I am on Ativan (lorazepam) for it.

And I do drive, my mother and grandmother say I drive very well, better than my late father, late sister, and younger brother do / did!  Their ONLY complaint:  I'm "slightly too fast" for them in their words.  Other than that, they praise my driving up and down!

For example, I once made it from my mother's house in Collegedale, Tennessee (suburb of Chattanooga, Tennessee) to my house in St. Cloud, Florida (suburb of Orlando, Florida) in 7 hours 18 minutes.  Most people claim that is a MINIMUM 10 hour drive, many say 12 - 13!  Ha!  Slowpokes!

How I did this?  On I-75, the I-475 Macon Bypass, and the Florida Turnpike Mainline, where the speed limit was 55, I drove 65 - 70, 65, 75 - 80, 70, 85 - 90.  Stops?  Only once every two hours, and for food, only stopped once, grabbed a burger (without the bun, wheat allergy) and milkshake at Steak N Shake in Valdosta.

I have slowed down a little since they stated that in my "old age".

Is there anything you should not mix with your meds?

Well, here is a list of things I may wish to avoid.

Where is Jackson, Tennessee, and how big is it?

Jackson has 68,264 population in the city and 252,587 population in its metropolitan area, and is the sixth largest metropolitan area and ninth largest city in the state of Tennessee.  Jackson is located approximately an hour and 15 minutes east of Memphis (621,056 in the city and 1,332,305 in the metropolitan area, #2 both city and metropolitan area in the state of Tennessee) and an hour and 45 minutes west of Nashville (683,622 in the city and 2,233,867 in the metropolitan area, #1 both city and metropolitan area in the state of Tennessee).

Where all have you lived other than Jackson, Tennessee?

I have lived all over Tennessee, metropolitan Atlanta in Georgia, and three places in Florida.  Metropolitan Orlando and metropolitan Chattanooga were my favorites.

Do you have a spouse or children? What about pets?

No spouse, never settled down.  No kids either, as I stated earlier.  Closest thing I have to children is my younger brother has two sons, so I have nephews.

I did have a cat until a few months ago, but I gave him to my maternal grandmother since she had to euthanize hers a little over a year ago.  I could not be the owner my cat deserved after I moved to Jackson anyway because my landlord didn't allow cats, even as an "emotional support animal" (which I was trying to get him prescribed as at first to circumvent the pet clause), so I had to "abandon" him and leave him with my mother, who took very good care of him.  VERY good care of him, he got up to 23 pounds!  Eventually, she decided he was too fat and she put him on a diet, and he slimmed down.  He's now down to 16.

Do you have any siblings? Are your parents and grandparents still alive?

I have a younger brother, he lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

I had a late sister, she took her life on April 3, 2011.

One parent (my mother, 70) and one grandparent (my maternal grandmother, 95) are still alive of the two and four respectively.  I consider myself very blessed they are still alive.  I thank God for them every day.

How tall are you? What's your astrological sign? What's your sexual orientation?

I am 6' 1"

I am a Pisces.

I am bisexual.

Do you have a college degree?

I have a college degree, although it's only an associate's degree.  And no, I don't work, I am disabled, and earn survivor's benefits from my late father.  Not saying how much.

If you were not disabled and COULD work a "normal" job, what would your preferred occupation be?

My main obstacle honestly would be the calculus, I am not intelligent enough to do it, lol.

Civil engineering.  Read my book "Fiddling with Maps:  Southeast Edition" and you will see I am not bad at geography.

Are you able to work at all with your disabilities?

I am, I'm mentally DISABLED, not CHALLENGED.  I just need to be able to start my own small business more than likely.  I am thinking of starting a shuttle between the Memphis International Airport and Jackson, stopping at Wolfchase Galleria and Brownsville (Blue Oval City) between.

And there is the possibility I could be able to work a normal job that could be suitable.  I just haven't found one yet that was.  The ones that were found for me were poorly suited for me.  One I did stick with for 17 or 18 months despite this mostly because I liked my co-workers, but eventually I was forced to quit due to the pain of the fibromyalgia and migraines I was experiencing at work as well as the fact I was not allowed my phone by my agency that I was employed through, which I need to be in contact with my mother and grandmother who are 70 and 95 respectly and are sick and can barely walk, and I refuse not to be able to be able to contact them for four hours during the day in their time of need.  One I quit after two or three months mainly because the boss was hateful IN ADDITION to the pain I was experiencing and the fact I could not bring my phone.

Would you go back to work were it offered to you?

Only under the following conditions:

1.  I own my own business; or it is a work-from-home job, or a job that is suited to my intellect and degree and does not aggravate my fibromyalgia and migraines such as an office / desk / computer or driving job; preferably one that would help me find my purpose and pursue my goals

2.  I can have my phone so I can be in contact with my mother and grandmother (if I'm not my own boss / an entrepreneur and own my own small business and with an employment agency that helps me find a job that has regulations)

3.  My boss is accommodating and NOT hateful (if I'm not my own boss / an entrepreneur and own my own small business)

What are your strengths?

Attention to detail and knowledge of geography, both gifts from, ironically, autism spectrum disorder.

Loyalty.  I am very loyal to my family and friends.  Until they stab me in the back enough times I wash my hands of them.

Some say intellect, but I don't think I'm that intelligent outside of geographical knowledge, which is a gift.  For one, I'm not very wise.  I consider wisdom more valuable than pure intellect.  If you have knowledge but no or little wisdom, you are worthless as tits on a bull, you're basically just a robot.

What are your weaknesses?

Empathy and compassion.  Some people mistake it for me being "naive" and "gullible", but that is a lie, I am not gullible or naive, I would never fall for a typical scam like these idiots try on me, I always either (a) ignore them, (b) play them like puppets on a string until they get tired at their own game and leave me alone, or (c) just tell them plain and simple to "fuck off", depending on my mood.  No, I am just kind-hearted and enjoy helping people in need, especially family and friends.

Sex.  Like any red-blooded American man, sex is a key motivator.  Being bisexual, I am attracted to both attractive women and men.

Friends that have combined all three (empathy, compassion, and sex) have gotten me to do almost anything for them, for better or for worse, and I admit, I've done some pretty stupid shit during my lifetime.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

Four tattoos, two piercings

Do you smoke? Drink? Use recreational drugs?

I smoke cigars AND vape every day.

I used to drink occasionally, not anymore.  Mixes with my Lyrica I take for my fibromyalgia badly.  I might start drinking again OCCASIONALLY in moderation.  But technically I shouldn't AT ALL with the Lyrica.  With the Ativan and Lexapro I can, but only in very limited amounts.

I used to smoke and bake with cannabis, more medically than recreationally.  Marijuana has medicinal properties.  Helped with my illnesses (autism, PTSD, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, fibromyalgia, and migraines namely).

And for three months back in 2015, I was involved with some friends that dabbled in crystal methamphetamine, cocaine, and morphine; and I admit I engaged in them as well (including speed balling cocaine and morphine at the same time and even SHARING A SYRINGE OF MORPHINE WITH A FRIEND since she only had one syringe but two doses and I was not about to go without my dose of morphine!) although I am not in that life anymore.

What is / are your favorite vacation spot(s)?

1.  Sarasota, Florida.  Especially Siesta Key and St. Armand's Circle!

2.  Orlando, Florida.  Lived there for four years, loved it!

3.  Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  Which happens to be my mother's and grandmother's and was my late sister's #1 favorite.

What are your favorite activities?

Used to be travel and theme parks.  Now it's visiting my mother and grandmother, dining out at restaurants, gaming (probably my favorite game right now is AQ Worlds (my character), which features various ultra bosses, I used to also enjoy Star Wars Galaxies, which has now shut down but fans have created Star Wars Galaxies Legends, I also enjoy Dragon Fable and Assassin's Creed Odyssey), and chatting with my friends Carolyn and Brant.

Wait, you believe in God, despite who you are and what you've done?

Indeed, just because I am bisexual, have attempted suicide, and don't go to church does NOT mean I am not a Christian.

I believe God created me to be bisexual, it was part of my DNA, and He pronounced it to be "good".

Also, He allowed the devil to give me PTSD and bipolar disorder, which gave me suicidal ideations AND intent, which at first, I did not know how not to act on when I got overwhelmed.  Now I do.  I know that if I act on it, my mother, my grandmother, and my aunt will be traumatized, and that my adversaries would have won.  Some people will even feel I will have proven to the world I am a coward and am NOT a champion of my circumstances, that I chose the easy way out.  The latter two of the three of these points I have my friend Brant to thank for revealing to me.

And I don't go to church because of hypocritical "Christians" who do not share Christ's love and instead mock Him by spreading hatred and contempt for mankind, ESPECIALLY the LGBTQ community and the mentally ill who have attempted and committed suicide.  After all, Jesus Christ Himself said to "love your neighbor as yourself".

What are your favorite movies?

I'm a geek.  Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter.

What Star Wars character do you compare yourself to?

Probably Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader, as I was originally good but became misguided (maybe not exactly evil, just, I don't know, on the wrong path), but now hopefully have turned a new leaf.

What Lord of the Rings characters would you compare yourself and key members of your family to?

I would compare myself to Bilbo Baggins, as I found the Ring of Power forged by the Dark Lord Sauron in Gollum's cave.

Either my mother or maternal grandmother would be Lady Galadriel (not sure whom, either or could be really)

What Harry Potter house(s) would you and your family be sorted into? Which character compares most to you?

My mother:  Gryffindor.  She is very loyal and very courageous.  She saved my life from a GI bleed.

My late father:  Slytherin.  He was very ambitious.  He became addicted to Nigerian 419 scams because he thought they were going to send him hundreds of millions of dollars if he sent them a few hundred or a few thousand.

My maternal grandmother:  Gryffindor.  She is very loyal and very courageous.  She saved my life from my fourth suicide attempt.

My late maternal grandfather:  Slytherin.  He had leadership qualities, and was ambitious.  He was a cheater, and had several mistresses.  Chasing after cubic zirconia (that look like diamonds but aren't) when he had the Star of Africa or Hope Diamond at home.

My late sister:  Slytherin.  She was very cunning, and knew how to act brilliantly, including how to hide her emotions unfortunately so we didn't how how to help her.

My younger brother:  Slytherin.  He is very cunning, and knows how to exaggerate / embellish the truth and twist / contort it to his angle much like an attorney would.

My aunt:  Hufflepuff.  She is very hardworking and fair-playing.  She believes that nothing should be gained from laziness.

My late aunt:  Ravenclaw.  She studied extensively, and was determined to be at the top of her classes, doing almost whatever it took EXCEPT having sex with teachers / professors or cheat, she did NOT do that, although it was nothing for her to get less than 20 hours of sleep a week, the other approximately 150 (there are 168 hours in a week) devoting to classes and studying

My first cousin:  Slytherin.  He is very ambitious.  He desires to be the best he can be in his career so he can earn as much money he can so he can enjoy the finest things in life.

Myself:  Slytherin.  I am very ambitious.  I once did own my own small businesses.  And I too, like my first cousin, enjoy the best I can afford.  I would probably compare myself most to Professor Severus Snape.  I am very misunderstood by most people, and I have a personality that there is very little grey area, people either love me or hate me.  On the surface, some people see me as relatively sharp (as in blunt / impolite, NOT as in brilliant / intellectual), but underneath, I am very empathetic and compassionate and enjoy helping people.  I have just grown to mistrust a lot of people due to the trauma of my past....until I warm up to them.

Forget your Harry Potter?  These are some famous (or infamous) characters from each.

Gryffindor:  Harry Potter (good / main protagonist), Hermione Grainger (good), Ron Weasley and the rest of the Weasley family (good), Professor Albus Dumbledore (good), Professor Minerva McGonagall (good), Sirius Black (good), Peter Pettigrew (evil, or mostly on the side of evil because he was a sniveling coward)

Slytherin:  Tom Marvelo Riddle / Lord Voldemort (VERY evil / main antagonist), Professor Severus Snape (good), Lucius Malfoy (evil), Draco Malfoy (neutral, not really good nor evil, more like a spoiled rich brat), Professor Horace Slughorn (good), Bellatrix Lestrange (VERY evil, probably more evil than Lord Voldemort!), Regulus Black (good), Barty Crouch, Jr (evil, although the person he was "personifying", Alastor Moody, was good)

Ravenclaw:  Luna Lovegood (good)

Hufflepuff:  Cedric Diggory (good)

Not all Gryffindors are / were good (although most are, Peter Pettigrew was pretty much the ONLY exception) and not all Slytherins are / were evil, that's a stereotype!

You say you're a geek. Do you play Dungeons and Dragons? And if so, what attributes would you give yourself and your family and friends? And would anyone be given a natural 20?

I used to, haven't since 3.5.  I gave my books to my younger brother.  He seemed to enjoy them for a time.

Of selected members of my family, I'd rank:

My mother:  INT 16 (+3), WIS 16 (+3)

My late father:  INT 14 (+2), WIS 2 (-4)

My maternal grandmother:  INT 14 (+2) WIS 18 (+4)

My late maternal grandfather:  INT 14 (+2), WIS 10 (0)

My late sister:  INT 12 (+1) WIS 10 (0)

My younger brother:  INT 18 (+4), WIS 12 (+1)

My aunt:  INT 14 (+2), WIS 16 (+3)

My first cousin:  INT 18 (+4), WIS 14 (+2)

Myself:  INT 16 (+3), WIS 6 (-2)

Of some of my selected friends, I'd rank...

Carolyn (best friend):  INT 16 (+3) WIS 18 (+4)

Brant (former roommate and second best friend):  INT 14 (+2) WIS 16 (+3)

Ian "Nerifes" (friend I met in New York and New Jersey):  INT 18 (+4), WIS 16 (+3)

Danny (roommate):  INT 12 (+1), WIS 12 (+1)

A natural 20?  Hard to say.  The only one alive might be my younger nephew (younger brother's second son).  He scored a 1,600 on a SAT.  At the age of SEVEN!  Not sure what his WIS would be, but he might have an INT of 20.